I am writing to explain why I have been absent for a month, and why there won't be any posts for awhile. I am pregnant! I am blessed because we have been trying for about a year and half. The problem: I have Hyperemesis Gravidarum (again.) May 15th is HG Awareness Day, so I thought I'd have the rest of this post be about that and what it means... most people don't even know what HG is or have never heard of it.
Hyperemesis (hyper-rem-meesis) Gravidarum (grav-id-dar-rum) is extreme pregnancy sickness that goes beyond morning sickness. REAPEAT: IT IS NOT BAD MORNING SICKNESS. Here is a fact sheet that show some of the differences:
I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Giving birth is easier for me than the pregnancy itself, that's how bad HG is. I have been overweight due to Endometriosis/hormone issues for ten years. In my first pregnancy HG made me lose 30 pounds and I was sick for 8 months. I had the luxury of sleeping through the pregnancy back then, and it was my first, so I didn't really realize that something was wrong.
In my second pregnancy I lost 45 pounds, was sick 7.5 months, and needed IV's weekly (which sometimes I couldn't even get because I was so dehydrated that they couldn't find my veins.) I had to go the ER twice. I had to wear a face mask to change my son's diapers and when I fed him breakfast and lunch, I'd puke in the kitchen sink. I had to go part time at work to get through the pregnancy, and lay flat in bed all day because sitting up made me more nauseated and walking gave me motion sickness. It was scary to drive because of how sick and dizzy it made me. After my daughter was born I had the baby blues for a month and post traumatic stress disorder... I couldn't look at the color blue on my bedroom walls because it made me want to vomit. Even after painting the walls a different color, we ended up switching bedrooms to a different room.
With this pregnancy ( I am about 10 weeks along right now) I have to lay flat again. I have lost 15 pounds in the past month so far. Thank God I work from home and have the luxury of "taking a month off" of work (not that I can afford to.) I can eat breakfast but get sick by noon, most days at 10am. It doesn't go away until about midnight but I can't stay awake that long to eat. I can keep water down because I am on B6 which is helping the nausea enough to make sure I get fluids, and Zantac heartburn medicine. Again I can't stay up or walk around or I'll puke or get motion sickness and feel like I'm going to black out. It's so scary driving because by the time I get to my destination 15-25 minutes later, I am shaking I'm so sick. Last week I almost puked because of the pattern on my shirt... when driving to my OBGYN appointment I had to drive past a park. They had just cut the grass, and the smell made me instantly puke. Thankfully I was in my neighborhood so I could pull over and puke in a bag (you learn to just keep them in your car at this point.) I pray that it eases up in the second trimester, but I am assuming it will not.
How to get through it... well I wish I had some awesome advice but I don't. I can't lie, it is VERY depressing to have HG. I cry every night. I suffer from anxiety, but not depression, and this pregnancy I am experiencing depression, which is scary for me. The only thing that pulls me out of that funky feeling is talking to friends... looking at my two beautiful kids and remembering how much this suffering is worth it... and trying to visualize holding my new baby. I think once I know the sex and name it in 2 weeks, it will really help... help me know what I am suffering for, WHO I am doing this for.
So, as I said, I will be back to blogging as soon as I can, but for now I am practicing self care and putting blogs on the back burner! If you'd like to learn more about Hyperemesis Gravidarum aka "HG" please visit helpher.org ...they are awesome!
Also, some "famous" people who had it are Kate Middleton and Amy Schumer, so I'm sure you could check out their stories online too.
XO, Krista
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